Those assertions are coming under fire as the first round of divorces proceed through the court system, with judges failing to interpret the law as some activists intended. As a result, the divorce court system is still clogged with unresolved cases, leaving some wondering why reform was pursued at all.
]]> The judges in question have decided to call for trials to determine whether marriages are "irretrievably broken," causing couples to be held to different standards depending on the county in which they file. Some people are still being forced to endure costly and time-consuming trials despite the extensive reforms.Legal professionals say the debate must be settled quickly, or else judicial standards in the state are likely to be compromised. New legislation has been proposed that would ban jury trials of any kind in no-fault divorce cases, forcing judges to comply with the 2010 regulations.
Even if that legislation is adopted, though, analysts say that trials administered by judges alone would still be permitted. Though the increased reforms may provide some benefits, they will still be faulty, they say. Attorneys say that clearer language is required to concretely define procedures for the new divorce framework. Otherwise, judges will continue to interpret them at will.
Not only does the current legislation fall short, but the proposed changes would also complicate divorces by preventing judges from granting a divorce until money and custody matters have been decided. That could leave couples tied up in years of court proceedings, just to find out that their divorce was denied.
In addition to the no-fault divorce law, several others relating to marital dissolution are under reconsideration during the upcoming legislative session. A mandatory formula for computing alimony, for example, has also come under fire during the past year, and an independent commission will soon release a formal report that is expected to challenge lawmakers' decisions.
Source: Wall Street Journal, "Divorces drag on even after reform," Sophia Hollander, May 6, 2012
]]>Men and women throughout the country say that they are shocked to find out that their partner is cheating on them by maximizing their social networks through online programs. Even though some people simply use Facebook and other sites to check up on their old flames out of curiosity, a growing number are using the Internet to hook up with other people.
]]> Professionals say that they are seeing cases each week in which one partner's Internet usage has ruined the relationship. Stepping out of your marriage is so common that a website called facebookcheating.com has sprung up to facilitate people's bad behavior.Not only are spouses finding new and creative ways to commit adultery, they are also making incriminating comments about their significant others online. One woman said that her husband had posted a series of threatening and derogatory comments about her on Facebook, which caused her to file for divorce. She thought she knew her husband, and she was dismayed to discover that he had a darker side.
Other bizarre online behaviors include one woman's efforts to seek out a hit man to kill her husband, as well as the man who was arrested for bigamy after one of his wives saw a Facebook picture of him with another woman.
Ultimately, the Internet is giving divorce lawyers significantly more information than they have been able to access in the past. That means that attorneys can attack their opponents with more incriminating evidence than ever before, which could have huge implications in divorce proceedings. Alimony payments may be affected, as can child custody and a variety of other terms, depending on the nature of the posts.
Professionals urge couples who are splitting up to think carefully about the posts they make online. If the judge wouldn't be happy to see it, it's not fit to publish, they say.
Source: CBS New York, "Seen at 11: the new face of divorce," Kristine Johnson, April 26, 2012
]]>Professionals advise divorcing couples to avoid running up extra credit card debt. The monthly payments associated with cards can quickly overwhelm you and your credit history could be adversely affected. Many divorcees are struggling to handle living expenses, student loans, tuition, transportation and legal fees, so the last thing they need is an additional bill.
]]> Sometimes, the easiest choice is simply to put the expenses on a credit card but this can have a negative future impact. It may be better to borrow from family or friends to soften divorce's financial blow. Those people can generally wait until the settlement comes through for you to repay them. Divorce finance companies are also available to provide temporary assistance for legal fees, if necessary.Divorcing couples should also recognize that spending unnecessary time on insignificant items or assets can waste a lot of money. Attorneys' fees can be expensive and couples who fail to cooperate with each other often end up with astronomical bills at the end of the process. Be sure that the asset you are claiming has more value than the attorneys' fee to obtain that item. If you spend $300 to contest an item that's only worth $100, it's likely that you're wasting your money.
Perhaps most importantly, people going through divorce need to ensure that they can continue to pay rent or mortgage payments until their case is fully settled. It is important to know whether you can expect interim support from your spouse, which may include temporary alimony or child support. These are important topics to consider at the onset of the divorce proceedings.
Finally, in order to understand your financial options, you need to do your research and hire the right attorney the first time. A lot of money can be wasted on attorneys whose style doesn't align with your needs. Consider whether you ought to hire a specialist in high-asset divorce or child custody, for example. Additionally, consulting a financial expert can help ease the transition back into single life. Financial planners can identify additional sources of income from your assets and suggest changes that could preserve your lifestyle. Remember that looking for money in unorthodox places, such as loaned money from family and friends, could make the difference between an amicable and a bitter divorce.
Source: Huffington Post, "Top 5 ways to ensure your financial security during your divorce," Brendan Lyle, April 23, 2012
]]>This story illustrates the importance of the words that we all use to describe divorce and its associated events. We call our divorced spouses "ex" and even sometimes refer to our families as "broken." These terms tend to bring the focus to the experiences of the adults rather than the children who arguably feel the consequences of divorce with far more acuity.
]]> Spouses who are childless can more easily walk away from each other. Parents, on the other hand, have an ongoing obligation to their children. Most have some form of joint custody, so that the terms "ex" and "broken family" are becoming increasingly obsolete. Additionally, some of the parents have never lived together or married each other, which throws a different set of considerations into the mix.Helping children understand their position within the family can help ease many of the painful transitions that occur during a divorce. Custody battles and financial worries can easily overtake parents' minds during the divorce proceedings, but professionals say couples must remember to prioritize the emotional needs of their children above all else.
Parents can ease the transition of divorce by modifying the way they speak about their ex-spouses. After the initial revelation that the couple will be splitting up, parents often fail to pay attention to the words they use around their children, which can be damaging for the youngsters. Even though the media portrays families as "broken," professionals argue that they are simply "changed." Children will be permitted to develop important relationships with both parents, though those relationships might look different now that the couple has split.
Even if one parent relinquishes custody for a while -- or permanently -- the children still must sort out how both of their parents relate to each other and their families. They must learn how to make sense of the family members that surround them, regardless of whether they occupy the same household.
Legal and behavioral professionals encourage parents to remain candid but respectful toward their children during the divorce process. That way, they feel included, not abandoned.
Source: Huffington Post, "Is he my ex-father?" Judy Osborne, April 16, 2012
]]>Etheridge has countered with legal paperwork of her own, saying that her ex-wife had burned their children with cigarettes and thus was not fit as a mother. Etheridge has filed appeals in an attempt to strike down the joint custody agreement currently in place between the two women.
]]> Etheridge's 37-year-old ex-wife contends that the $23,000 per month payment is causing her financial hardship. She grew accustomed to living on the singer's salary, which totals more than $170,000 per month. The woman also says that she is incapable of entering the workforce because of her current skill level and she would require extensive education in order to reach the earning potential she enjoyed while married to Etheridge.The fight has gotten personal, according to media reports, with Etheridge's ex-wife accusing the singer of effectively brainwashing the pair's children. The woman reports that her children are emotionally distant and refuse to hug her, according to recent statements. Etheridge had filed paperwork requesting that a judge require both households to be smoke-free, thanks to the alleged cigarette burn incident.
The two have also reportedly traded snarky emails with each other, with both women attacking the moral fiber and caretaking abilities of the other. Etheridge's ex-wife contends that the singer is incapable of providing adequate care for their 5-year-old twins while she is on the road and she says that one of the children was bitten by a dog while in Etheridge's care.
Source: International Business Times, "Tammy Lynn Michaels demands more money from Melissa Etheridge: Singer claims Michaels burned kids with cigarettes," Michael Billera, April 10, 2012
]]>In March 2011, the judge had instructed a man to pay his wife $17,000 per month as part of a divorce settlement. This was despite the fact that the man's take-home pay every month from his investment banking job was less than $13,000. The man's ex-wife earned about $100,000 as a guidance counselor, according to court documents.
]]> The judge came forward in early April, calling his earlier judgment unfair. He has substantially reduced the amount of each monthly payment, adjusting both alimony and child support to reduce the financial impact of the decision. Instead of paying more than $10,000 per month in alimony, he is only required to pay $5,000, an amount that will now be taxable for the man's ex-wife. Also, child support was lowered by $500 per month. The judge reported that he didn't recognize how strenuous the financial requirements would be for the man involved in the divorce proceedings.This case was one of the first to follow a landmark 2010 ruling that established no-fault divorce in New York. The new regulations also included a strict formula for temporary alimony, which replaced judicial discretion when awarding funds to the recipient. The formula was created to provide more consistent decisions and protect individuals who can't afford legal representation, according to lawmakers, but it appears to have an unjust impact on some cases. This confusion is leading to extended trials and continued discrepancies in judgment that lead to problems such as the one described in this article.
This particular case has been cited by a variety of news sources and professional statements as a prime example of the problematic legislation. The independent New York Law Revision Commission cited the case, as well. That group plans to release formal reform recommendations in mid-April.
Source: The Wall Street Journal, "Divorce ruling revised," Sophia Hollander, April 1, 2012
]]>Attorneys and child welfare specialists throughout New York have seen a rapidly increasing caseload that is straining current resources. Despite these increases, only four new family court judges have been installed since 1999. No new judgeships have been created for family court in New York City since 1991.
]]> So far, hearings have been held in New York City, Buffalo, Albany and Long Island. Members of the 35-person committee say that testimony pertaining to these issues has been incredibly valuable so far. The information gleaned from community leaders will allow the group to make insightful recommendations to the family court system.The speakers at the March 22 meeting at the Nassau County Bar Association included law professors, non-profit directors, family attorneys and public defenders. The meeting will include representatives from the Appellate Division's 10 counties: Dutchess, Kings, Nassau, Orange, Putnam, Queens, Richmond, Rockland, Suffolk and Westchester.
The task force, which was created in 2010, has four subcommittees. Members of the group evaluate local resources for litigants, resources for the courts, operations and staffing and technology implementation. Representatives say that these four sub-groups allow the courts to consider a comprehensive picture of the current family law system, which will lead to valuable recommendations to conserve money and time.
The task force will meet one more time before submitting its formal report. A rough draft of the document is slated to be completed in June, followed by the final report in November.
Source: New York State Bar Association, "State Bar Association Family Court Task Force to Hold Hearing March 22 on Long Island," Mark Mahoney, March 19, 2012
]]>When Orthodox Jews get married, they are bound by both civil and religious unions. When the couple seeks a divorce in the courts, their religious union is not broken. That process, known as a "get," can only be performed if the husband agrees to release the wife from the partnership. A problem arises when the husband refuses to cut the religious ties with the woman, preventing her from marrying within the faith and often causing crushing social stigma. These "chained women" are termed agunot.
]]> In older cultures, intimidation was often used to force the husband into obtaining a get. Thugs might arrive on the doorstep of an errant son-in-law, sent by a woman's father to encourage him to break the religious ties. In Israel, the government even jails some men who refuse to issue gets for their wives. In America, though, because fewer options exist, women's parents are often forced to pay large sums and perform favors for their son-in-law in order to obtain a get.The solution to this problem is simple, according to legal experts. Although civil courts cannot intervene directly in the religious union, a prenuptial agreement can guarantee financial and social security for women who have been denied gets. The document, known as the halakhic prenuptial agreement, stipulates that the couple's religious divorce will be administered by a Jewish court. Also, the husband is required to pay the woman $150 per day, adjusted for inflation, until he issues her a get. The most commonly used document in the U.S. was drafted and promoted by Beth Din of America, a Jewish court group based in New York.
Experts from Beth Din say that too few Jewish couples sign the prenuptial agreement. The document should become more widespread to prevent the adversarial divorce situations that often arise within the Jewish community. A 2006 resolution from the Rabbinical Council of America supports this conclusion; that document encourages rabbis to require the halakhic agreement before performing a marriage ceremony. Still, the document is difficult to promote among conservative Jews, who often view a prenuptial agreement as a bad omen.
Ultimately, experts and "chained women" agree that signing the halakhic agreement before marriage provides more options and protection to women who would otherwise be vulnerable within the Jewish community.
Source: The New York Times, "Where Divorce Can Be Denied, Orthodox Jews Look to Prenuptial Contracts," Mark Oppenheimer, March 16, 2012
]]>Divorce professionals say that the new trend is likely due to marriages happening later in life. People are getting married at about the age of 35 now and are more likely to get divorced when their kids are almost out of the house, when the couple turns 50. Previous generations were getting married in their 20s, which makes divorce more likely when the couple is in their 30s or 40s.
]]> Furthermore, attorneys attribute the increasing divorce trend to improved access to members of the opposite sex. Dating sites and social media resources have increased divorce rates, especially among older couples, because people who get bored in their relationships often see an easy out. A few clicks of a mouse can allow people to see whether their high school sweethearts are single again, for example.Additionally, some professionals believe prenuptial agreements may play a role in the higher divorce rates. They say couples may see marriage as more of a business transaction than a lifelong partnership, and so they often "cash out" when the time seems right.
Regardless of the couple's age, most divorces hinge on two important factors: children and money. Older couples involved in divorces are less likely to become engaged in custody disputes because their children are grown or old enough to voice a definite preference.
The money aspect of baby boomer divorces is significantly more complex, say professionals, because most of the couples have been together for a long time. Conflicts over assets such as retirement accounts, pensions and land holdings can be difficult to resolve because both parties have some claim to them. This complexity can often increase the cost of a divorce, which can range in price from about $3,500 to more than $2 million. Legal advisors say the most important thing a couple can do before a divorce is to create a budget and sort out any financial disputes. This will allow the divorce to proceed smoothly. Both parties need to think about their personal needs and their access to liquid assets as well as property holdings.
Many boomers are particularly vulnerable when divorcing late in life because they have not adequately prepared for retirement. Financial struggles can arise when slim retirement funds face distribution to two households instead of just one.
Older divorcing couples do have a distinct advantage over younger pairs because they have resolved more disputes during their relationships, say attorneys. Some couples even decide to stay together after starting the divorce process because it encourages them to vent their true feelings and reach a solution to their initial disagreements, according to their advisors.
Source: Fox Business, "The Boomer's Guide to Divorce," Kathryn Tuggle, March 7, 2012
]]>This case involves two women in their 30s. One of the women donated her egg to the other, who bore the child to term. The women used a sperm donor during the process. The biological mother -- the woman who donated the egg -- is contending that she should share equal custody rights with the young girl's birth mother, who had been hiding in Australia with the child. The biological mother tracked the two after the split, locating them in Australia with the help of a private investigator.
]]> The trial judge in the case was forced to use legal precedent to award custody to the birth mother, though he was reluctant to acknowledge the validity of the ruling. Appellate judges reversed the trial judge's decision in a 2-1 ruling, saying that the biological mother did not qualify as a donor per the law's restrictions. Those justices determined that the donor law was unconstitutional when applied to this type of same-sex split. The decision restored the biological mother's custody rights, enabling her to see her daughter after years of separation.Opponents of the decision argue that it could lead to a legal slippery slope; the ruling could allow donors to change their mind and seek custody, regardless of their gender or life situation. The dissenting justice in the case worried that any donor would be able to make an after-the-fact claim to children born from such processes, which would pose an even deeper moral and legal dilemma.
Ultimately, both advocates and opponents of the appellate ruling agree that new legal measures are required to regulate same-sex custody agreements. This is particularly true of those children who are conceived using the same methods as the two Florida women used. Attorneys for other same-sex couples called the ruling "pro-parent," saying it provided a meaningful step toward a modern legal definition of motherhood.
Both groups agree that the welfare of the child is the most important consideration in this and other custody cases.
Source: Fox News, "Same-sex custody battle could change Florida law," Associated Press, March 4, 2012
]]>Two months ago, McCready, 36, took the 5-year-old boy from his grandmother's home in Florida. His grandmother is his legal guardian, authorities report. McCready fled from Florida to Tennessee and finally ended up in Arkansas. Police tracked them to their final location, discovering the boy hiding in McCready's boyfriend's closet. He has since been placed in foster care. Officials speculate that he will remain in foster care until the case is resolved.
]]> The social services agency in Arkansas has hinted that it might provide funds for the boy's father to visit him in Arkansas as the case progresses. The state argues that this is a more efficient way to spend taxpayer money. Instead of sending multiple social services representatives to Florida, they can simply fly the man to Arkansas, eliminating the need for multiple plane tickets.Many cases involving out-of-state parents are handled in this fashion, according to agency representatives, because it lessens the financial impact on both the parents and taxpayers. The man will likely be permitted to visit his son once a month according to the provisions of the agreement.
McCready has an embattled history, fighting drug addiction and other personal problems. She has passed all drug tests since she took the boy in December, and she is currently pregnant with twins. She has attended court-mandated parenting classes, and she says she is optimistic about regaining custody of her son. The singer says she is committed to becoming a competent mother and a better person, telling reporters from the show "20/20" that she has learned from her mistakes.
Source: TheBoot.com, "Mindy McCready's son to remain in foster care in Arkansas," Gayle Thompson, Feb. 24, 2012.
]]>Newly released data show that the likelihood of obtaining full or even joint child custody might be jeopardized by smoking status. A study released this month by the group Action on Smoking and Health shows that at least 18 states have rules requiring that smoking status factor into custody rulings.
]]> Courts commonly prohibit parents from smoking in homes or vehicles as a part of custody agreements. Existing court orders addressing custody or visitation have been modified if the parent resumes smoking. Smoking status of relatives and family friends may also factor into custody decisions.This information is particularly salient considering that an upstate New York woman was recently faced with child custody revocation after a judge discovered that she had been smoking around her 13-year-old son. The woman was required to stop smoking both in her home and her car to maintain visitation rights.
A similar case in Georgia prompted a custody agreement change when the mother of an asthmatic child refused to stop smoking around him. The court found that the woman was not sufficiently concerned with the welfare of her child.
The harmful health effects of secondhand smoke are well-documented. Children with respiratory problems or allergies are particularly vulnerable to ill health effects, and judges throughout the nation are increasing their efforts to protect this population. Family courts recognize that parental smoking status is a significant consideration in custody decisions.
Some parents choose to kick the habit before a custody battle begins, but judges are sometimes suspicious that the smoking might start again after a decision has been reached. Parents who smoke are urged to do so only outside if they want to increase their standing in a child custody hearing.
Source: The Washington Times, "Smokers losing child custody cases a growing trend," Myra Fleischer, Feb. 21, 2012
]]>New York is one of several states that have filed lawsuits challenging the Defense of Marriage Act. A civil rights project director for Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders said that while a gay or lesbian couple can marry, the couple is denied the protections that married couples receive. The government would have to bear the increase in costs if all 50 states legalized same-sex marriage and gave same-sex couples the same benefits as heterosexual couples, but other areas would cost the government less. For example, Social Security benefits would cost more, but Medicaid costs would decrease.
]]> The survivor rule for Social Security benefits allows a widow to claim up to 100 percent of the deceased spouse's benefits if the deceased's spouse's benefits are greater than the widow's benefits. The spousal rule even applies to divorced spouses. Medicaid is based on family income; thus, a two-income same-sex family may not meet the Medicaid requirements.The Defense of Marriage Act also costs same-sex couples at work. If an employer offers the ability to pay premiums for health insurance it provides or for flex-spending accounts using pre-tax dollars, these benefits do not apply to same-sex couples or their children. The spouse's coverage is counted as taxable income to the employee.
The act also denies health coverage for a same-sex spouses of active military personnel. A same-sex spouse is also not eligible to collect retirement benefits, which are usually about 55 percent of a deceased spouse's former pay. According to the GAO, veterans are affected by more than 100 statutes related to marriage.
Source: Reuters, "Same-sex couples will save if DOMA is struck down," Mark Miller, Feb. 10, 2012
]]>Perry has an earned fortune of $44 million. The famous couple did not have a prenuptial agreement, and should they have decided to have a contested divorce, property division could have left each of them with considerably less. True to his word in a public statement, Brand refused to take his share of Perry's earnings. The couple also owns four properties located in London, New York and California. The properties are estimated to be worth about $15 million collectively.
]]> Perry and Brand, both 27 years old, filed the uncontested divorce papers that showed that they reached a settlement out of court. A source for TMZ said the divorce "is as amicable as it gets, and Russell was a mensch." It was not mentioned what Brand settled for in the divorce papers.Documents related to the divorce that were obtained by RadarOnline.com showed that Perry and Brand settled all matters, including who gets which properties. Perry is only asking that her maiden name be restored to Katheryn Elizabeth Hudson. The source did not elaborate on which party received which property or properties, nor did it elaborate any other assets the couple may have owned or listed on their financial affidavits.
Source: Daily News, "Katy Perry, Russell Brand reach amicable divorce settlement: Comedian walks away from $20M payout," Joyce Chen, Feb. 9, 2012
]]>Situations like this could happen to divorced parents and parents going through divorce. When one parent tries to keep the child to himself or herself, it puts a strain on an already imperfect relationship. It not only hurts the parent that is not allowed to see the child, but it traumatizes the children as well.
]]> If your relationship with your children has been damaged by a difficult custody battle, you may be able to repair that relationship. The following tips can assist in repairing a relationship, but take into consideration the age of the children.Spending time with your child will lead to conversation. Allow your children to express their feelings. Learn to help them identify problems and solve conflicts. You may find that rift getting smaller and smaller with each time you spend time with your children.
Above all, it's important to demonstrate that you love and support your children. Showing affection will help them get through the divorce process. It is healthy for children to have a solid relationship with both of their parents. Not only will working to heal your relationship with your children be beneficial to them, it will also help you move into the next phase of your life.
Source: Huffington Post, "Don't Divorce Your Kids," Nancy Fagan, Feb. 2, 2012
]]>